Z-Out and the Declaration

“When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one fandom to separate themselves from the bands that connect them to an AD and or Coach and assume the Right’s which the Laws of Nature entitle them, that they should declare the causes which impel them to separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Competency, Accountability and the pursuit of Winning Football.”

“That whenever any Form of Administration becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new Athletic Administration, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Competency and Happiness. These changes should not be made for light or transient causes, but when a long train of abuses and usurpations evinces incompetency, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Athletic Administration, and to provide new Guards for their future security and happiness.”

The current AD is a highly competent Manager who has husbanded resources and kept a balanced budget. He has kept pace with his rivals and built for the future in a decade that mirrors the 1920’s in scope of building and financial peril. Minor sports have remained competitive with Championships won in Men’s Tennis and Gymnastics. Basketball during the course of his 18 year tenure has been a bright spot since the mid 90’s and has flirted with greatness on occasion.

And now for the other side of the coin: Football is abysmal, plain and simple. We have arguably been the worst BCS team in America during his tenure. This is especially true if one considers the size of our State in relation to other Public BCS Institutions in large States. Bear in mind that with the exception of New York which has no Public BCS, we are decidedly worse than any other Institution in the Football Playing United States. The 10 largest States other than NY are Texas, California, Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Georgia, North Carolina and our beloved Illinois. By comparison, only UNC and Cal had any prolonged sub 500% year streaks and both have real periods of sustained excellence and are currently on the upswing.

Had our Football Program achieved mediocrity over the 18 year period we would have raised the money and then some to have completed the facility building that has been the norm in this bloated economic decade. The failure regarding Football’s current steward, RZ, rests solely on the one-man committee that hired him and failed to vet his substantial and obvious shortcomings. Had the AD talked to RZ’s Assistants at Florida or those who declined to work for him, the hire would have been avoided. Had the AD talked to the Florida press corp., and heard about RZ’s propensity to micromanage and not let his Assistant’s implement their preferred systems, RZ might be an NFL Assistant again.

The evidence against Zook and the case for his dismissal is so well documented and irrefutable as to render further discussion moot and redundant. However, in the interest of evidentiary fairness I will offer the following, we are the absolute dregs, as evidenced by the B10’s own statistics in the following categories; Special Teams efficiency, turnover margin and penalties. Had the aforementioned been a one year statistical anomaly, it might have been excusable, but we are no one-year wonder (Rose Bowl season excepted); no, we are a model of consistency when it comes to those subtle coachable statistics that separates talent from productivity. Other than unsustainable recruiting victories, I dare anyone to name a single facet of the game where RZ has displayed anything but abject incompetence.

Having hooked his wagon to our failed Coach, RG has been Zooked. He has three choices as I see it; he can retire honorably and let his successor do his bidding, he can soldier on with Gilligan at the wheel or he can beach the Minow, leave the First Mate off the Island and hire a Steering Committee to chart a new course. The latter of the three choices sounds logical, but logic is in the eye of the beholder and RG controls our destiny unless Illini Nation speaks with the one voice that RG will not ignore; indifference. By not buying into a putrid product, the AD will be left with no choice other than change, and if by change, he means a return to the Dictatorial ways that brought us to this point in the first place, RG must follow his hand-picked Coach and leave the Pride in disgrace.

Let’s begin the process this Saturday by showing our disgust with the state of the Program and a schedule which is perplexing at best and atrociously conceived at worst, by staying home. If all RG wanted to do was avoid a multi- million dollar buy-out as we muddled our way to obscurity, two $300,000 home patsies would have been a far less expensive solution; but that ship has sailed and the Skipper must now decide how to save his vessel as water hemorrhages into the Minow.

Donate your tickets to charity and or sell them and give the money to the DIA for the express purpose of buying out the current Head Coach. A Z-Out requires that season ticket holders stay away in droves and force the AD to confront the reality that if an RZ coached team falls in the middle of a forest with no one around to witness it, does it really matter. To a “Nation” starved for success and loyal to a fault I refer back to our Declaration as we plead for Competency and Accountability and seek throw off the yoke of Tyranny. In support of this Declaration we pledge our Loyalty, Resources and Sacred Honor.

Video Blog - Blind Man King

Check out the first installment of Mr. G's brand new video blog. Let us know what you think!

In the Land of the Blind, the One Eyed Man is King

Our current AD must have a very low opinion of the subjects in his kingdom for he assumes that we are resigned to his regressive vision for the future of Illini football. Perhaps he’s right; there is an outcry at places like Michigan and Notre Dame where stupefying ineptitude is met with derision and revulsion. Low expectations aside, this sordid ordeal surrounding our current Head Coach and his apologist AD reminds me of George Orwell’s Animal Farm where all pigs are equal except some are more equal than others. The voice of “the nation” has either fallen on the deaf ears of its’ leader or not deemed relevant or meaningful to the conversation because we lack the right or requisite knowledge to add or detract from the conversation. Are we conditioned to merely follow those who lead us regardless of the direction or wisdom of the path or message? If this be true, why not the “ Lemming” as our new symbol or mascot. Hi Ho Hi Ho it’s off the cliff we go.

Should anyone harbor doubts that we are led by an incompetent HC who has perfected the art of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and rendered it into an art form. Does the Northwestern roster have a single wide receiver who would have been recruited by our staff and yet it appeared that all were the second coming of Wes Welker as they merrily ran free amongst our four stars. It’s hard to argue the fact that Northwestern is better coached and less talented at virtually every position on the field. RZ correctly identified this game as our most important rivalry and privately told those in his inner circle that he was nervous about facing Northwestern and more confident relative to Cincy. Losing four of five matchups with your chief rival gets you fired at most places unless you live in the land of the blind, where only the one-eyed king can see the truth. Clearly, it made sense to bench Charest and LeShoure for McGee and Dufrene in the third quarter. Surely one could see that our coaches completely outfoxed their counterparts with their wile halftime adjustments that lulled even the most astute of our enemies into a state of complacency that all but assured us of a last second victory that was unjustly robbed from us by a worldwide “zebra conspiracy”. Anyone could see the genius of our leadership and recognize the guile and cunning of our strategy.

Statistics, lies and damned lies tell a different story as we are 11^th in points per game, 10^th in total yards, 10^th in penalty yards, 11^th in TD’s, 11^th in INT’s, 10^th in sacks, 11^th in punt returns and 10^th in kick returns. Or maybe, just maybe, this is another brilliant maneuver meant to confuse our enemies and befuddle our otherwise clueless fan base. How clever can one be that our HC has again, with the help and support of his majesty the AD, managed to artfully outwit the entire college football world and disguise our superiority by feigning utter and unmitigated incompetence. Long live the King, may his Jester continue to serve as we applaud his skill and struggle to understand the source and complexity of his unique and superior ways.

PS: If we lose badly to Cincy and Fresno State, will anybody notice? Basketball season is upon us and things are looking up, our glass is half full and yet we are still thirsty.

Coaches Who Stare at Goats

Now that RZ has put down his crayons and sketch pad as he apparently did last Saturday at Minnesota; I have another bit of advice for our fearless leader, lose the headset. I don’t know who is on the other end it or if anyone is listening to what you are saying, but we would all feel a lot better if you limited in game communication to heads, tails or atta boy son.

To paraphrase Winston Churchill, “never in the course of human conflict have so many been so happy after triumphing over two hapless enemies.” This is the World War II equivalent of thrashing Austria and Bulgaria; my apologies to all my Bulgarian and Austrian friends. Austria may have once been a great power that some view in empire parlance as the “Champions of the West”, but now is led by a thuggish leader with little imagination or ability. The Bulgars must have been something special before electricity was invented, but its football equivalent Gophers put the ocrity in mediocrity as they muddle their way into football obscurity. Jim Souhan of the Minneapolis Star Tribune said it best after Saturdays game: “Can we taser anyone who suggests that a 6 and 6 record this season, given the mediocrity of the Big 10 is an accomplishment or a sign of progress. Why would long-time Gopher football fans expect anything different than a bad loss to a bad team that leaves the Gophers headed toward a losing record in a bad league and a meaningless Bowl.” Sign me up, that sounds like a winner after what Illini Nation has been through.

Yes there were signs of life the last two weeks that leave of us yearning for more and asking why this staff has been virtually asleep at the wheel for seven games while sitting on a treasure trove of talent without a map or the slightest clue.

Having punts blocked in consecutive fourth quarters on successive Saturdays is acceptable on the Pop Warner level but unconscionable at a major university. Penalties, Special Teams and an all too frequent lack of discipline has and will continue to cost us yards and games as we navigate without a rudder. We are constantly looking like a mistake waiting to happen and yet I cannot do anything but cheer and hope that the kids will overcome what they cannot control.

Had the AD figured out that it was cheaper to buy two home wins at $300,000 per game than exercise a buy-out in the millions, he may have lessened the early season pressure on a Coach who is widely considered to be the tightest sphincter in college football. I may not believe that it’s in the best interests of the Program for RZ to remain on the job, but I will not, no I cannot ever root against the Illini. So use your Zooker powers and give Fitzgerald and the Wildcats your best George Clooney stare and make them fall down by sheer force of will and mind boggling powers. Who needs a note pad or headset to win a football game, just will it and all will be forgiven; not really.

24

Twenty fours in Champaign accompanied by Northbrook Chief’s Dad (GBN and Wash U star point guard) started out with dinner at Ferron’s with my frat boy son and my buddy’s sorority girl daughter and their respective roommates. They quickly ditched us for “greener pastures” and after checking into the I Hotel, we walked over to “the Hall” to check out the “Bruceables”. We sat in a box with a couple boosters and low and behold, the kids can play. In particular, the Freshmen class is the most athletic and skilled class since Dee, Deron and Augie in 02. Although Stan Simpson is technically a 2012 and did not play on Friday, he is now a member of the class of 13 and I would love to see how that “Five” would fare against the rest of the team in an organized game.

Richardson, Paul, Bertrand, and Griffey may not be the “Fab Five”, (our banners will not taken down either) but this group when combined with the current Illini junior class and next years haul and you have the makings of something truly special. “RPBG” can ball and even Griffey is athletic beyond expectations. What is most impressive about the freshmen is the skill and polish they possess at their tender stage of development. If there is a knock on this class , it is for the time being, there is no pure point with g-d given ball handling skills to provide a back up for McCamey or share the load. Bertrand who I had not seen play before has the most natural point guard skills of the three guards and he was a pleasant surprise to say the least. My guess is that any of the four frosh are capable of getting elbow high on the rim; elbows up, elbows up everybody.

What truly excites me about this group is the rare combination of athleticism and court intelligence that each of these kids apparently possess. We may not initially be as good a team as last years bunch when all were healthy, but by years end we will be armed and dangerous and ready for a sweet sixteen run.

On a sour note, Alex Legion appears to be one dimensional and merely capable of spot shooting when we face a zone. I wish the kid well, but it hasn’t clicked for him yet.

Saturday started with lunch at Legends; the fish of course, followed by our showdown with dreaded Wolverines as we try to turn back the clock to 1983 (our last home win v. UM). If this were a movie, the title would be “Dumb and Dumber”. Rodriguez clock management at the end of the first half was as bad or worse than RZ’s. When Adam Rittenberg of ESPN appeared on our show on the Tuesday before our OSU game, he said that UM was the third best team in the conference. Boz and I thought the Wolverines were a fraud that would benefit from an easy schedule that may gloss over a flawed football team. Well it appears that not even an easy schedule can save RichRod and the Wolves. I told Rittenberg that UM alums did not like the guy and another lousy year could spell his demise. Stay tuned, Michigan may be willing to eat RR’s astronomical buy out and move on. The dollars it would take to buy out RZ pale in comparison but mediocrity or failure may be more acceptable to the powers that be here than it is at a place like Michigan.

I’m happy for the kids and our fans and besides, I love beating Michigan. I pose the following question in closing: would any of you trade two more wins this year for two more years of RZ? Just asking.

On the way home we picked up a deep dish Papa Del’s to go and it always tastes better after a win; it’s just that that the aftertaste leaves me wondering how long our coaching indigestion will last.

Sincerely,

Mr. G