Top Ten Things I Can’t Stand About Illini Football!

10. Give me a symbol, mascot or pagan idol; anything. Presently Illini Nation is godless and hopeless.

9. Our new Offensive Coordinator is more offensive than coordinated.

8. Two heads are better than one unless they’re shrunken and co-coordinators of our defense.

7. An offensive line that looks like it was designed by the inventor of the turnstyle.

6. A schedule built for one and eleven.

5. It interferes with following Illini basketball practice.

4. There’s really no point to watching the second half of games.

3. Coach Guenther.

2. Our current Coach is no Gary Moeller.

The Number One Thing I Can’t Stand About Illini Football Is:

1. Ron Zook still wears a headset during games and someone is on the other end of it.

GO ILLINI! BEAT MICHIGAN!

What Matters!

Irrespective of our irrational preoccupation with the game of football and the fortunes of the Illini; we are reminded that it’s just a game, and not a matter of life and death. It often takes a moment like the sight of a motionless kid sprawled out and unresponsive to reinforce for us that which is truly important and meaningful in our lives. I have admired Donsay Hardeman for his fearless play and all-out effort these past two seasons as I have commented on our show and lamented that we could use 10 more with his heart and desire on a defense that is woefully deficient on virtually every level.

I felt a sense of horror as I pondered whether Donsay would ever walk again after his first half hit and apparent injury necessitated the use of a safety board and cart to take him off the field. The rest of the game and the mistake prone performance of his teammates was rendered insignificant and meaningless vis-à-vis the fate of a young man facing a paralytic future.

When news reports on Sunday indicated that Donsay merely had a sprained neck, I felt a sense of relief that dwarfed my disappointment from the previous nights result. Donsay is just 11 months removed from major neck surgery and I wonder what the wisdom was of playing a contact sport that is the equivalent of being involved in multiple car crashes each and every day. Perhaps he should have been red shirted if there was a shadow of a doubt regarding his fitness for participation in a game that requires controlled violence on each and every play. Had Donsay been paralyzed and confined to a wheel chair or worse, the financial risk to the University would have been astronomical. More importantly, the risk to our humanity would have been far greater, and rightly so, if we had put a kid at risk without full consideration of the consequences. It is with the aforementioned in mind that I urge the coaching staff and administration to err on the side of caution and sit Donsay until we are absolutely sure that he is fit for full contact and the rigors of the game.

I have intentionally used Donsay’s first name to emphasize that we are talking about the life of a human being with family and friends whom he loves and receives their love in return. His name is Donsay Hardeman and he could be our son or brother and his well being transcends the game and our superfluous desires. Say his name out loud once please, Donsay Hardeman, and then say a prayer to yourself for his health, safety and welfare; and let us all say Amen.

Groundhog Day

The ritual of Autumn in all its glory has descended upon us. We gaze out windows as foliage screams its last gasp of brilliance before the final spiral of death renders it grounded and inert. The bright color and pageantry of fall begins to blur as the winter of our discontent looms omnipresent. The brightness of blazing orange will soon be a distant memory as gloom, darkness and pessimism take hold.

Though the season is but a few weeks old, the changing of the leaves never changes and our fortunes repeat themselves as if stuck in a Harold Ramis movie where every day is the same and our fate is predetermined. In the movie, “Groundhog Day,” redemption and salvation occur when meaningful change of heart and purpose is accompanied by a plan of action that embraces a different and better way to approach each day.

Illinois Football is stuck in a 42 year cycle with a strategic plan that reads as follows: if you come to dead end in a labyrinth, go in another direction. For instance, 17 years ago we hired a defensive head coach and when our offense stagnated, we fired him and hired an offensive guru. Six years ago our recruiting slumped and we fired the offensive guru and hired a recruiting wizard and now he has stumbled and bumbled and exposed himself as a one trick pony without an encore; so we will navigate the labyrinth as we always have and react to a dead end by merely changing directions.

As we approach another addition of the Illinois version of Groundhog Day, it is clear that everything will stay the same unless we change our philosophy, or put another way, how we use reason to seek truth and knowledge. The problem with our current philosophy stems from a lack of coherence at the top and the misguided notion that problems should be fixed and that winning is the ultimate fix. For many of us, losing is bearable to a point if the product is likable, entertaining and something we can be proud of at any level. The issues with football, and I want to address them without disparaging players of good character, of whom there are many, stem from a program without an identity, purpose or direction.

The seemingly eternal Illini question is, where do we go from here and who is going to take us there? The answer starts with the following, it cannot be fixed, it must be rebuilt. The confidence of the people of the State of Illinois and the Alumni and students must be won back after years of hollow promises and failed initiatives. Edifices do not build character or embolden the spirit without embracing a philosophy that kindles that which burns eternally and speaks to a higher purpose.

I want Illinois football to succeed and win as much as most, but ultimately, I want to take pride in our coaches and players as they represent our great institution. Can you imagine interviewing for and accepting a job without knowing how to pronounce the name of the company or institution; we don’t have to, and perhaps we should have known that barbarians were at the gate when our current HC was introduced to the media and he blurted out that he “was thrilled to be at Illinoise.” I yearn for the days of former Dartmouth coach Bob Blackman and his literate and 500 winning percentage ways. Each day is the same unless there is a change in philosophy; only then will the next journey begin as we search for truth and reason amidst chaos and defeat.

The Honorable Course of Action

The wheels on the bus go round and round and eventually fall off. Illinois football seems destined for failure every five years or so and the Ron Zook addition of year number five is bent on fulfilling its destiny. The AD, through scheduling missteps and micromanagement of the program, has contributed mightily to the demise of the latest addition of our beloved Illini and he is in no position to determine the future of the program based on a track record spanning 17 plus years without a shred of sustained excellence. The next major decision relating to Illinois football will be made by the current AD’s successor at the conclusion of the 2010 season barring a sea change or outright miracle. One does not need the Rosetta Stone to decipher or predict how this Greek tragedy will end.

Like “King Herod the Builder” of ancient times, the current AD will go down in history for his significant and extraordinary contributions to the physical landscape of his domain as we lament the lost opportunities for true greatness in the field of battle. We are left with regret and frustration for what might have been.

We are at a crossroads and the Administration must decide if our path shall be straight, narrow and slow without shame or glory; or should we aspire to and achieve greatness without the sacrifice of scruples and honor. It has been done at places where good coaches and adequate resources create an atmosphere conducive to consistent winning without compromising the integrity of the institution. At this point, I find myself in envy of small States like Utah, Wisconsin or even Iowa that have produced sustained excellence without outright scandal (“shoegate at Wisky being the exception). The logic that all of us accepted when Zook was hired envisioned consistent mediocrity and minor bowl games in perpetuity. “Give me your poor huddled masses from distant States and let me go Seven and Five.” In fact, that should be our new slogan for the rest of the year, “Seven and Five to stay alive.”

Anything short of a winning season in Year Five of the Zook regime should be laid at the feet of the powers that be with sword on shield and honor intact.

Surrounded by loyalists and sycophants, the AD must neither take nor give advice, but merely, do what is right and honorable while preserving his legacy and serving the greater good. The future history of Illinois football has already been written, only the fate of the heroes and villains remains unknown.